All hail Google Almighty!!!

I’ve been a believer, an atheist and an agnostic at different points of time. Quite a statement to make, I know. Well, people say all sorts of crazy things to sound profound. This is my pick for the day. However, I’ve spent considerable amount of time on google reading about spirituality, mysticism and religion to rid myself of guilt, anger and lust (see what I meant about trying to sound profound). The irony of the situation is that half an hour on google and you forget the ‘getting rid of’ part and start appeasing the lust.

Moving on……  my quest for nirvana has taken me to some very weird  places. The most recent and the most amusing of the lot is ‘The Church Of Google’. They are a group of people who acknowledge that Google is the closest thing humans have experienced to God. ‘Googlism’ (sounds so cool.. doesn’t it?) is being touted as a new religious movement and ‘Googlists’ believe that google fits the conventional idea of God better than the traditional Gods of various religions. I don’t know why I find it funny but it seems that they have this concept of google being a ‘She’ God(hmmmm... more power to women I guess). They’ve put forward some 9 proofs to establish their claim and surprisingly all of it makes sense.

Google satisfies most of the conventional qualities attributed to God. Traditional religions say that God,

       is omnipresent (google too is everywhere)

                              is omniscient (google indexes 9.5 billion web pages… hence all-knowing)

                              is immortal (theoretically google too can last forever)

                              is infinite (theoretically the internet and so google can grow forever)

                              answers prayers (type in a search string and google answers your query)

Anything you’ve uploaded can live on forever on google’s cache. So in a way google promises an ‘Afterlife’. To top it all, according to search trends the word “google” is searched more than all the other Gods combined.

All this kinda tweaked my curiosity and I decided that it was time for a rendezvous with this new God. I thought long and hard about what knowledge I would like to receive from God if I ever met him. Once I had made up my mind I opened google.com and started typing my prayer….

No sooner had I typed in the word “how”, google’s  search autocomplete literally read my mind and displayed results for….

“how to kiss a girl”

Wow… omnipresent, omniscient, immortal, infinite and… telepathic too.

All hail Google Almighty!!!