Sunday, 8 September 2013

Hunting boars and wooing women..

I don’t remember the exact moment when I decided to write a blog. Must’ve been around the time I grew tired of facebook. To be fair, it’s a great platform to connect with your friends and get to know them better. But when you wish to connect with ‘her’(pluralize if you can handle more than one at a time) on facebook, you run into competitors. In the morning she uploads a photo of her cuddling her pet(awwww..) and by noon when you finally got time to go online and do something to get yourselves noticed, a zillion guys have already ‘liked’ or ‘commented’ on her photo trying to get themselves noticed. The phenomenon is not unprecedented actually. Men, from the time we lived in caves and clothed ourselves with animal skin have had to fight tooth and nail with each other to woo the fairest among the fairer sex. Guys like me, we go hunting and risk our lives killing the biggest boar we could find and carry it to her only to find men who call themselves studs standing in queue in front of her cave with kills the size which would make your boar look like a mouse in comparison. With the facebook generation, the methods might have changed but studs are still studs and guys like me are……. you know, still at the back of the queue.
Back to the blog story; I had to do something about this injustice. Voices in my head began analyzing the situation..
“What do I do so that she notices me..?
Eliminate the competition….? I can’t go about killing the 500 guys who are friends with her on facebook…
How to avoid these 500 distractions and get her attention..?
I need a platform to make myself accessible to her. Hmmmm… Facebook without competition…”
And then I found some other guys of the same non-stud lineage as me who had found a way out…
“Write a blog… bingo!!”
I decided to start by posting a letter to ‘her’. Thus was born ‘For the not so tall girl at campus..’
A decision was made. I won’t stand at the back of the queue anymore. I’ll take the boar I killed, set up shop somewhere in the vicinity, cook one hell of a soup and let the air take the smell to her in her cave and let her come to me asking if I would be willing to spend the rest of my life sharing my soup with her(which I’m perfectly willing to do.. I don’t like soup anyway).
End of story….

No guy has ever done anything if there was no chance that it would get him laid at some point in the future.

1 comment:

  1. "And then I found some other guys of the same non-stud lineage as me who had found a way out~" I see what you did there!