I know you still spend hours at the balcony, looking up at the black sky searching for me. I've been hiding, but you already know that. From behind the smokescreen of these grey clouds, I see you. I see the anguish in your eyes. I can hear the strained notes of hope from the strings in your heart. I can almost read the accusations in your mind. I can see the ripples of questions beneath the ambiguous expression on your face.
"Why do you always do this?
This running away when you hear words that make you uncomfortable... disappearing just like that. Then you keep me waiting till you've sorted out your issues. I stay up teary eyed all night searching the sky, wishing I'd never said those things which upset you... wishing you'd just come back. You hurt me so much and then you reappear... and you want to take it up from where you left off, as if nothing had changed in all these days you've been away, as if my feelings don't matter at all.
But I keep quiet. I never tell you how much you've hurt me because the moment I see that crescent curve on your face, the lopsided smile that I've missed so much, I forget everything else and fall in love with you all over again.
But you're cruel. You take and take and take and when I feel empty and used, when I question you... you vanish again.
But this time you've been gone too long and I'm scared.
Have you forgotten me?"
No...
if only you knew, I'm right here behind these clouds. I've been here all this while, watching you... discreetly.
But I cannot let you see me. I won't show myself to you again. I know it is hurting you. I wish there was another way. The pain will wither away your hope and one day... one day you'll go back inside and close the doors to your balcony forever.
You tried to reach for me and you touched me... not with your hand, but you did touch me. Alas, I'm not what you see from down there. I'm barren... rocks and craters. I'm alone and my soul is cursed to wander alone without any destination. Even though I'm bound to you by an incomprehensible force, and through you to the blue sphere you call home, I'm destined to be alone.
"Why do you always do this?
This running away when you hear words that make you uncomfortable... disappearing just like that. Then you keep me waiting till you've sorted out your issues. I stay up teary eyed all night searching the sky, wishing I'd never said those things which upset you... wishing you'd just come back. You hurt me so much and then you reappear... and you want to take it up from where you left off, as if nothing had changed in all these days you've been away, as if my feelings don't matter at all.
But I keep quiet. I never tell you how much you've hurt me because the moment I see that crescent curve on your face, the lopsided smile that I've missed so much, I forget everything else and fall in love with you all over again.
But you're cruel. You take and take and take and when I feel empty and used, when I question you... you vanish again.
But this time you've been gone too long and I'm scared.
Have you forgotten me?"
No...
if only you knew, I'm right here behind these clouds. I've been here all this while, watching you... discreetly.
But I cannot let you see me. I won't show myself to you again. I know it is hurting you. I wish there was another way. The pain will wither away your hope and one day... one day you'll go back inside and close the doors to your balcony forever.
You tried to reach for me and you touched me... not with your hand, but you did touch me. Alas, I'm not what you see from down there. I'm barren... rocks and craters. I'm alone and my soul is cursed to wander alone without any destination. Even though I'm bound to you by an incomprehensible force, and through you to the blue sphere you call home, I'm destined to be alone.
