SPARTAAANSS...

When leonidas was a boy, he was sent away into the wilderness.(I suggest you watch 300 before reading further.)
"Go face the world", the spartan elders said. "Battle the deadly beasts, creatures of the dark... ones which crawl and sting, ones which fly and claw. Defeat them. Above all, defeat your own inner demons. Emerge victorious and come back. Only then shall you be worthy of being the king of spartans."

Times have changed. Modern day elders don't speak in such an elegant fashion. My dad mincing words, merely said, "It's time you stood on your own two feet. Go crack the GATE exam. You will be welcomed home like our champion.(actually, he didnt say this last sentence out loud. I added it to try and give my dad a spartan image)" And then he sent me to hyderabad(ACE Academy).
And here I am, like poor little leonidas... in this big scary city all by myself.(sigh)

I've been here one day and I've already found things to hate about this city. First things first,

The traffic. The pace of life in this city is pretty hectic but I can't go as far as to say the city never halts. There are numerous junctions where traffic signals act as bottlenecks, and in the mini jams caused in this manner autos and two wheelers would do just about anything to get in front of the vehicles ahead. These daredevils jump kerbs onto the already narrow footpaths and then snake through between the trees and streetvendors to get ahead. In one such signal, the moment it turned green an auto took off and turned left, grazed a bike in the process. The bike tumbled over and the rider fell. The auto stopped to a screech, its driver cocked his neck out and looked back. The fallen man was glaring at him. Then the autowallah said something in telugu which to me sounded something of the effect, 'Oh, you're not dead...? well then fuck off!!', and then he sped away.

Of the autowallahs, I've one more story. (Alert!, potty jokes ahead) I'd been sitting in a bus for close to 17 hours. I have what my mother calls a hyperactive-bowel, punctual as clockwork. It was 7.45 in the morning when I got off the bus and nature's miscalls had already been coming for half-an-hour. I got in an auto and asked the nice looking bhaisahab, 'kisi cheap lodge ke aage utaar do. Fresh hona hain. Room sirf ek ghante ke liye chahiye bas.'
The SOB then drove me around for 20 minutes, took Rs150 and left me outside a lodge where they said they didnt rent rooms for less than 24 hours and that the rent would be Rs 600. By this time my internal turmoil had heightened to a ' either you do it now, or it does itself' situation. With the alternative being unthinkable, I paid the 600, took the key and ran to the room. Most expensive shit of my life!!!

Iske aage life main ab jab bhi main toilet jaoonga, us haram khor autowalleh ko yaad karoonga. Kameenay, tujhe main shraap deta hoon... is ek saal ke andar aise kahin mauke aaenge jab tujhe halka hona ho aur door door tak koi toilet nazar nahin aaega.

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