Inadequate...

Every day I shrink

Ceding space

And the world swells

Advancing

While I recede

And implode

Under it’s weight

Shedding

It’s time to shed skin again

This time, not to start anew

And forget the pain

Not to pick up a different hue

And pretend to be sane

But to disappear out of view

And hide in plain

No ideals to live up to

No sympathies to gain

A renunciation long overdue

The Windtower

I’m made of earth and bound to it

You of air found it hard to commit

I gathered myself and reached high

To touch you whenever you drifted by

You’d promise to stay and then deceive

You’d breeze around a little and then leave

I cut myself open, carved a window to let you in

Still you said you were afraid I’d hold you within

So I carved a hundred more till I was hollow

And waited for you to blow

I know I can’t make you stay

But maybe you could teach me to fly

Blood - Ink

Blood If my isolated voice could drown your awful din And the abuse and your hate Your rants, I’d be ignoring But on my ideology, you constantly spit So bullets in your heart, I sink And I run hiding my face in a helmet

Ink If words could wound the skin And bullets could debate The few you asked, I’d be answering But you’d bleed when I cut and slit And while you lie dying in a puddle of ink I’d aim my quill at another of you and shoot

Captive

Was I blind or was it dark?

Was I alone or was I being watched?

Was I here before?

Was it me who left these marks on the floor?

How long has it been?

Where was I last seen?

Did someone know?

Would someone follow?

Do I hear footsteps?

Should I cry for help?

Would anyone hear...

...will I die here?

Travel Diaries : Malaysia - Chapter 3

3. Langkawi Day 1

We booked an Uber from the airport to Tanjung Rhu Resort. This is the part I like the most when I tell people about the trip. I’m like ‘Yeah! I stayed at a beach resort!’. I feel rich every time I say that. The resort looked like something straight out of a luxury travel magazine… the white sandy beach, crystal clear water, beach lounge chairs with umbrellas, beach read books, white people sun bathing, women in bikinis spreading suntan lotions on exposed skin, a woman in a burkini with hardly any exposed skin accompanied (read ‘guarded’) by her husband, PDA by newlywed couples… all of it was fascinating. As we were being showed to our rooms I saw two French guys sitting in the balcony of their room lazing away in the afternoon enjoying a smoke whilst engaged in an intellectual conversation. Maybe they were talking about something inane but the combination of the lit cigarettes and French language made it look like they were discussing something like the rise of far-right parties in European politics.

The room was pretty awesome. The décor simple and tasteful. There was a TV but it had only one familiar channel, MTV Asia. We didn’t have much time to watch TV but the couple of times that I did, I came across an acoustic version of ‘Stay together’ by Noah Cyrus… “Nothing lasts forever, But wouldn't it be nice to stay together for the night?”. In the days that followed I have caught myself singing these lines many a time in the shower. Speaking of shower, there was a fuckin bathtub in the washroom. I wanted to give it a try but the thought of my naked ass touching the cold wet porcelain surface made me cringe. So I skipped it. Also, Suman spent a suspiciously long amount of time in the bathtub which was another reason I skipped it.

We kept our bags in the room and decided to go out and explore. We were still to figure out how we were going to get around the island. We thought it better to hire motorcycles. The resort staff at the reception were very helpful and they talked to a guy who rented motorcycles. We then went to his place where he promptly handed over two bikes and four helmets.

It was late afternoon and we were all hungry. We went around searching for some place nice but there weren’t any to be found anywhere near. After 20 minutes of searching we came across a small roadside shack. We sat down at one of the tables and looked at the menu. The only thing that looked familiar on that menu was some sort of noodles. We ordered for it. What was placed on our table five minutes later wasn’t at all appetizing. It was black in colour and looked horrible. It tasted dull and flavorless. We hardly ate half of it. It rained when we were on our way back to the resort and we were all drenched. It started to worry us that the rain and bad food might spoil our vacation.

It was around 7 in the evening when we came out of our rooms after a short nap. Thankfully, it had stopped raining by then. We decided to check out the famous Night market of langkawi. We knew from our internet research that it took place at different places on different days of the week. We were not sure where it was today. As luck would have it an employee at the resort knew a little bit of Hindi and he found us discussing this. He gave us directions to the place in Kuah where it was supposed to be on that day. It took us an hour to get there but it was worth the trouble. It was pretty amazing. Local vendors had set up makeshift stalls on either side of a narrow road for as far as one could see. All sorts of things were on sale… clothes, watches, sunglasses, wallets, handbags, trinkets, toys and a whole lot of other things, most of which were imitations of famous brands. The fake Adidas originals were tempting but I walked away. I now had two women to buy gifts for… mother and the soon-to-be fiancée. It was time to start practicing thriftiness.

We walked along the many stalls selling street food following the delicious smells from grills and sizzling frying pans on which pancakes and other local delicacies made of fish meat, chicken and mutton were being cooked with aromatic spices. There were meatballs, dumplings, springrolls, burgers and stir-fried steamed rice served with spicy curry. It was a culinary paradise and I was stuffed by the time we headed back. I made a mental note to try some of the things that were left out on the next day. I did buy a bracelet for the soon-to-be fiancée but I didn’t see anything that mom would potentially be interested in, and it was quite a dilemma for me thinking how my mother would interpret it if I showed up at her door with nothing for her but something for my future wife. The turf war would begin before the partition and I didn’t want to be a Mountbatten caught between Gandhi and Jinnah.

...to be continued

Travel Diaries : Malaysia - Chapter 2

2. Touchdown

We didn’t get much sleep in the four hour flight because of turbulence. It was just before dawn when Kuala Lampur city appeared below the clouds. The lightning and thunder added to the thrill. In a few minutes during the descent, darkness gave way to the first rays of the sun painting a magnificent picture on the horizon. The plane touched down at around 6:45 AM. We waited and followed the other passengers to the immigration counters. It was when we saw the sea of people in the queue that we truly realized that we are in another country. There were separate queues for people from different places… ASEAN, western countries and such. We looked around and it was like we got stuck in a Jackie Chan movie. I don’t know the politically correct term for it but would ‘Chinese looking’ be considered racist? Well... the entitled Indian male inside me wanted to raise my hands and yell, ‘Where are Indians supposed to go?’ but to our relief we saw some Indians in a queue at the far end and we joined them. Immigration, to my surprise, was a smooth affair. I mean the woman didn’t even look at me. She took a cursory look at my papers, stamped my passport and gave it back to me.

Klia2 Airport was huge and we had 5 hours to kill. Our flight to Langkawi was at 12 noon. I walked around for a bit clicking selfies like the quintessential tourist but I desperately needed tea to wake myself up and get my body clock started. So we settled near a restaurant and studied the menu. Learning to think in terms of Malaysian Ringits instead of Indian Rupees was tricky. I had 1000 Ringits to spend for the 5 days. We had bought it at an exchange rate of Rs. 14.50. What I did was to think in terms multiples of 7 since 7 ringits roughly equals a hundred rupee. I ordered tea and waited at a table. It cost me 2.50 Ringits but it did its job of reanimating me. I logged into the Airport wifi and called my dad on whatsapp. There were open wifi networks at many places in KL and that was very helpful.

We roamed around window shopping along stores of famous brands. The most intriguing one was Victoria’s Secret. If this was on TV at home, I would’ve instinctively changed the channel to save the awkwardness in front of my parents. But this was in real life and it was fascinating. A sort of sensuous glow emanated from within the store in bold colours. We stood outside and eyed the different things on display for a few more minutes. By then it was time for the flight.

The thing I remember the most about that flight was the terrifying feeling when I looked out of the window and saw only the ocean below us. Unlike the flight from Hyderabad to KL, this was in broad daylight. It was beautiful and exciting but it was also scary. When we started to descent a spectacular vision of breathtaking beauty presented itself to us. The islands looked incredible from the sky. The mountains and the beaches were picture perfect… the pure grandeur of nature was overwhelming.

To be continued...